Viva Forever

When: Monday 3^rd June

Where: Piccadilly Theatre

Why: Cheap tickets

My bag was bloody searched going into the Piccadilly Theatre, which set me against them straight away. You’re not the O2 arena kids, you’re a slightly dingy half empty theatre and it’s only a wee gin in a tin... Hmph. My gin-based rage aside (FYI, I didn’t let them confiscate it; I pretended to drink it outside then snuck it in via my mum’s bag... classy), I was intrigued to see what lay before me as I took my seat right at the back of the stalls with the rest of the Time Out ticket buyers (and behind several totally empty rows of seats further forward). This was the “re-vamped” version of the show, but even so its closure had been announced since I’d bought the tickets so there was a slightly defeated air hanging over the auditorium. We were bombarded with reality-TV style images and soundbites and videos around the stage as it began and my heart slightly sank as I somehow knew it wasn’t going to be good. I tend not to pay huge attention to critics, as if I like something then I like it and whevs to everyone else. But in the case of Viva, I think they were just right. 

I can’t speak about it for too long as it’s painful for me to criticise anything that the Saunders has touched, not to mention my very long-standing loyalty to the Spices themselves. But briefly – when you find yourself only able to watch the stage through your hands, trying to smother a hysterical laugh-sob as the audience around you sits in dulled and somewhat upset silence, then you know something has gone horribly wrong. One reviewer referred to a “miasma of disappointment” emanating from the audience which I can confirm is totally accurate. 

Not all the cast were bad – the mum’s sidekick was quite funny and Doon Mackichan-esque, and the guy from Eastenders was alright at being essentially Simon Cowell. The moving barge which made up the stage was also quite effective, even if what was happening on it was a travesty. The best moment in the musical was the bedroom scene between the mother and her new chap as they sang a hilarious version of 2 become 1 but I mean that’s obviously a relative hilarity compared to the rest of the show. The main girl, Viva, had a voice that wasn’t horrific but was just wrong for a theatre (too LOUD mate, seriously), no-one else could really sing, and the songs were totally abused. Some real crackers that would have completely boosted the storyline were totally under-used – I’m looking at you, Mama, Headlines and Say you’ll be there. The MEDLEY of Goodbye/Mama/Headlines was one of the most awful things I have ever heard. The plot was going nowhere, I didn’t really like any of the characters and it was all just SO disappointing. I think because I was prepared to defend it to the hilt – I love everyone involved (behind the scenes) and the Spice Girls are my original heroes – but I was even more let down because I couldn’t redeem it. It was bizarre, not funny, slow and painful.

I’m sorry, I just can’t... I can’t go on... *runs out sobbing*

Brixpig x

Noah and the Whale: A Month of Sundays

When: Sunday 19^th May

Where: Palace Theatre

Why: I couldn’t live without them

The front of the Palace Theatre proclaims Noah and the Whale to be “An evening of pure joy!” and “Wall to wall pleasure!” and although these reviews technically refer to ‘Singin in the Rain’ which is showing there during the rest of the week, they are equally applicable to the evening I spent in their comfy seating and civilised atmosphere with some velvet-clad boys producing some of my favourite music ever.  

The band have said in an interview that performing to a seated audience was like doing a Q&A rather than a gig, which I get, but by the end they’d reminded us that we were at a “seating optional” event and everyone leapt up and those in the stalls swarmed to the front. I say “everyone” leapt up, but the couples on either side of me stayed resolutely seated throughout the whole final two songs and encore, so I looked a bit like a lone seaweed swaying on the shore, but I wasn’t going to be sat down as one of my favourite bands of all time played their faces off. That’s just not right. (And yes… I was there on my own. Whevs).

They played a “stripped-back” set for the first half hour, which I think for them basically meant no funky lighting, as in all other aspects it was the same as later on – how stripped back can you be with four extra violinists and a disco ball? But it was beautiful and they ended on ‘First days of spring’, which is a total stunner and caused one of the bouncy teens sitting in the box opposite to yell “That’s the best song ever!!” at the end.

Then we were treated to a half-hour film (see an intro to it here) made by the band and directed by Charlie (lead singer), featuring as its soundtrack all the songs from the new album, ‘Heart of Nowhere’. The story was roughly to do with an alternate future reality where all teenagers have to be transported to an island to be checked over and to see if they’re suitable to re-enter society as an adult, and usually end up having all their memories wiped. What follows is three teenage boys breaking free of the line into the island to play one more gig and have one more night recording their memories and favourite colours into a tape player, and generally emoting in dark environments. Despite being a bit hipster and earnest, the boys were really passionate and acted well, and the music worked so beautifully with the film that it was quite gripping. Plus some of the accents were hilarious.

After the interval (LOVE an interval – crack out the gin in a tin) we got a full set from the boys featuring mostly the newest album and some of their more recent stuff. The only song from their first album was the inescapable ‘5 years time’, and I did miss some of their earlier songs (‘Rocks and daggers’ is one of my favourite songs of all time) but the new stuff suited the atmosphere of the evening and it was great to hear it live (always helps me get into a band’s new music, and I’d been struggling with their new album a bit – I love it now). We also got to see Anna Calvi perform ‘Heart of Nowhere’, which was great – her voice is mad powerful. They were brilliant though and having such a good view I really got to appreciate how musically talented they all are, seeing them all swap around instruments and vocals, and particularly Matt and Fred’s electric guitar duel which was insane.

A pretty good high point too was that my friends were there, who are themselves friends with Fred the guitarist’s sister, who gave me a spare pass to the after party at Soho House (fancy). I couldn’t scoop any photos as they aren’t allowed in there apparently, but it was awesome. I am definitely not cool enough to have ever been to a proper after party before and didn’t stay long at this one (reasons: my two pals had come straight from Eurovision in Malmo, and I was interviewing three people the next morning and was pretty nervous having never interviewed anyone before). But it was super fun and I managed to “accidentally” bash into most of the band members on my way in and out (Charlie’s hair is enormous and his velvet jacket was extremely soft… I definitely sound like a stalker). EXCITING TIMES for this pig.

Noah and the Whale are one of those bands I’d go and see again and again until the end of time (this was number 4 I think), because I just LOVE them and their music means so much to me (I listened to ‘First days of spring’ every single morning for over a year). They are hilariously mournful and nostalgic for guys who are the same age as me, but who can complain? I used to think there was no such thing as ‘too mournful’ in music, and still sort of do, but bear with until my upcoming Lana Del Rey review…

Brixpig x