Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

When: Tuesday 11th March

Where: Wimbledon Theatre

Why: FABULOUS

I’ve always enjoyed a croaky, out-of-tune man’s voice – Bob Geldof, Robbie Williams, Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia… But I reached my tipping point thanks to Jason Donovan in this show. He sounded absolutely knackered. He even looked a bit woozy, stumbling round the stage in his heels. He’s not a natural dancer, nor a natural transvestite, I can’t lie to you. Anything less elegant is difficult to imagine. Fortunately, he was carried by a great supporting cast and some proper good tunes. It’s the campest show I’ve ever seen, brightly coloured and pretty elaborate – and you know that although the plot is insanity, you’re going to enjoy yourself on the bus journey through Oz. The Divas suspended from the top of the stage were sassy and brilliant, and the sniping banter between the main three characters was sharp and often hilarious. It was an overall glittering assault on the senses and an enjoyable night out in Wimbledon.

Brixpig x

Viva Forever

When: Monday 3^rd June

Where: Piccadilly Theatre

Why: Cheap tickets

My bag was bloody searched going into the Piccadilly Theatre, which set me against them straight away. You’re not the O2 arena kids, you’re a slightly dingy half empty theatre and it’s only a wee gin in a tin... Hmph. My gin-based rage aside (FYI, I didn’t let them confiscate it; I pretended to drink it outside then snuck it in via my mum’s bag... classy), I was intrigued to see what lay before me as I took my seat right at the back of the stalls with the rest of the Time Out ticket buyers (and behind several totally empty rows of seats further forward). This was the “re-vamped” version of the show, but even so its closure had been announced since I’d bought the tickets so there was a slightly defeated air hanging over the auditorium. We were bombarded with reality-TV style images and soundbites and videos around the stage as it began and my heart slightly sank as I somehow knew it wasn’t going to be good. I tend not to pay huge attention to critics, as if I like something then I like it and whevs to everyone else. But in the case of Viva, I think they were just right. 

I can’t speak about it for too long as it’s painful for me to criticise anything that the Saunders has touched, not to mention my very long-standing loyalty to the Spices themselves. But briefly – when you find yourself only able to watch the stage through your hands, trying to smother a hysterical laugh-sob as the audience around you sits in dulled and somewhat upset silence, then you know something has gone horribly wrong. One reviewer referred to a “miasma of disappointment” emanating from the audience which I can confirm is totally accurate. 

Not all the cast were bad – the mum’s sidekick was quite funny and Doon Mackichan-esque, and the guy from Eastenders was alright at being essentially Simon Cowell. The moving barge which made up the stage was also quite effective, even if what was happening on it was a travesty. The best moment in the musical was the bedroom scene between the mother and her new chap as they sang a hilarious version of 2 become 1 but I mean that’s obviously a relative hilarity compared to the rest of the show. The main girl, Viva, had a voice that wasn’t horrific but was just wrong for a theatre (too LOUD mate, seriously), no-one else could really sing, and the songs were totally abused. Some real crackers that would have completely boosted the storyline were totally under-used – I’m looking at you, Mama, Headlines and Say you’ll be there. The MEDLEY of Goodbye/Mama/Headlines was one of the most awful things I have ever heard. The plot was going nowhere, I didn’t really like any of the characters and it was all just SO disappointing. I think because I was prepared to defend it to the hilt – I love everyone involved (behind the scenes) and the Spice Girls are my original heroes – but I was even more let down because I couldn’t redeem it. It was bizarre, not funny, slow and painful.

I’m sorry, I just can’t... I can’t go on... *runs out sobbing*

Brixpig x

Taboo! The Musical

When: Sunday 3^rd March

Where: Brixton Clubhouse

Why: TimeOut bargain offer and because my mum loves Boy George

Ten years after it originally debuted in the West End and on Broadway, Taboo! the musical came back in a slightly revised version to the Brixton Clubhouse and I am SO glad it did. This show was like nothing else I’ve seen before. It’s not any old production that could be simultaneously grungy and fabulous, gritty and bitchy and hilarious. It follows roughly the story of Boy George’s early career, wrapped up in a made up story about another young boy (Billy) who comes to London to find fame and who gets wrapped up in a dark and creative world of excess and freakishness. The whole energy of the room before the start of the show was almost intimidating in its atmospheric, dimly-lit cabaret style seating. The Brixton Clubhouse has to be an ideal setting for this show as the venue’s actual bar becomes part of the staging, and gives an immediacy to many of the show’s club scenes and takes you back to the origins of the story itself. There are catwalks threading through the crowd, the cast loll on the bar and dance on the tables and after the interval the brilliant Paul Baker as Philip Sallon sweeps through the audience offering salmon pinwheels and slashing everyone down with his rapier wit (he culminated his ten minutes or so of audience participation by “sniffing out the lesbians” and sashaying off… brilliant, but also terrifying). There is basically nowhere for the audience to hide – they’re directly involved and right up close to the story and this brings it thuddingly close to home, especially at the dramatic collapse of Marilyn or when Sallon is attacked. It’s intimate and disconcerting and totally in your face.

The cast were SO ridiculously strong, I could not have been more impressed, and I don’t think I have ever seen such beautiful boys up close. Seriously, Paul Treacy and Luke Gage as George and Marilyn respectively were unbelievable: striking, vulnerable and just beautiful. Treacy had Boy George’s mannerisms and voice totally down, and his mesmerising hold over the naïve Billy (played deftly by Alex Jordan Mills) was totally believable. Sam Buttery as Leigh Bowery was also completely mental, but brilliant and outrageous, and not without pathos by the end, when he’s stripped down and being painted by Lucien Freud. Julia Worsley also stood out for me as Billy’s mum Josie, giving a vulnerable, gutsy and very engaging performance, solidified by her incredible voice (and amazing 80s styling!).

The costumes were insanely good, the songs were catchy and clear and I just felt like it was such a brave, crazy and colourful insight into a world I obviously knew nothing about. It’s a delicate balance to pull off something that’s equally emotional and savage, about such a creative and destructive world, but the direction and the casting for this performance were just perfect and I enjoyed it SO much.

Brixpig x  

Merrily We Roll Along

When: Thursday 22^nd November

Where: Menier Chocolate Factory

Why: Given a spare ticket by a friend

I knew nothing about this musical before I saw it, other than the fact that it’s performed going backwards in time, and various bits of tunes thanks to hearing them from my dear friend Nikki (she was in a version at the Edinburgh festival). Apparently it was a bit of a flop when it first came out, and you can kind of get why – it doesn’t have the best tunes ever, could be a bit bleak, and would be rubbish if not done with pace and precision. But it was obviously redeemable, and this version, directed by actress Maria Friedman, was great and was led by a brilliant cast. The show is both sentimental and satirical, gutsy and full of complex, real relationships and friendships, and shows the harsh fallout of showbiz and the pursuit of dreams. As mentioned, it runs from the present day back in time, to reveal the paths that the characters’ lives had already taken, giving it a sort of fatalistic air (and also a brilliant excuse for loads of great costumes, as it spans several decades). You can see it working quite well as a normal play, it’s got that kind of plot – but the music does sort of sneakily infiltrate your head. It’s the kind of music that grows on you and suddenly gets to you and draws out a sneaky tear – particularly songs like the emotional and rousing Our Time.

The whole cast was really excellent and completely draw you in to what turned out to be a catchy, very slick show. The three main characters played by Mark Umbers (what a beautiful man), Damian Humbley and Jenna Russell were outstanding and their chemistry as a close-knit trio of friends was so believable and right, and their second-half performance of the pacey Opening Doors was so polished and just genius. I loved Russell as the loyal, desperate, vicious and thwarted Mary, and her attitude totally won the audience over. Humbley as the rejected creative partner Charley was masterful and his version of Franklin Shepard, Inc. was super-speedy, rage-filled and despairing and just brilliant. Umbers (swoon) as Franklin forces you to be intrigued despite being basically aloof and lost to his friends, and wins you round with his charm. Josefina Gabrielle as Gussie was also a winner; brassy and vulnerable and bitchy all in one. The chorus were all very polished and superbly executed. I also totally knew I recognised Meg, who turned out to be played by Zizi Strallen, from having an air of Bonnie Langford about her. They’re a theatre dynasty.

I had my ticket by gate-crashing a friend’s university musical society reunion to see Merrily in the place of someone who’d dropped out, and at the end of this performance the whole row of them were simultaneously weeping and whooping, which I think can only be a good sign. You can catch Merrily… until 9^th March and I totally recommend it if you want an evening of quality musical theatre.

Brixpig x

Wicked

When: Saturday 25th August

Where: Apollo Victoria

  

Why: Day tickets and to please my mum

The last (and first) time I saw Wicked I was sat in row X. Of the circle. To picture how far away that is, imagine watching a play that’s being performed on the other side of the Thames from you. It’s about that far. So to grab a day ticket in the front row was awesome and also made the show an entirely different experience. In the sense that I was able to distinguish facial expressions and people’s gender. And we only had to queue for about 90 minutes with a mad Korean woman who kept speaking to us in French and inviting us to her fabulous Paris flat for a holiday (it was a trial but worth it).

If you don’t know the story of Wicked then I’m not interested in explaining it to you (you should reassess your life) and will simply direct you to the detailed plot description on Wikipedia that I also made my mum read. All I will say is that this time I actually bought the soundtrack afterwards (off Amazon, much cheaper than getting it from the theatre – I’m not mental) and listened to it every day for about two weeks. At least. Including one full weekend of singing along to it as I zoomed down country lanes with my pal Nikki and others with similar good taste in soundtracks.

This time I could tell that it definitely was Mat Willis from Busted who was playing Fiyero, the main boy lead, and he was really, really good. Who knew? He has grown into a hottie who can genuinely act (and sing, but we knew that, kind of). His many tattoos also really worked, as the character in the book (YES, I’ve read it) is a tribal prince who is meant to be covered in multi-coloured diamonds. So that was geekily pleasing to me. Louise Dearman is also excellent as Glinda – she’s just as multi-faceted and complex a character to play as Elphaba, and although the actresses are definitely equals in terms of talent in this show, I think I’d always end up being more drawn to Elphaba as the darker character, and to Rachel Tucker who represents her so perfectly.

Tucker is just SO GOOD. We used to watch her every week on I’d Do Anything, the Nancy finding programme (“You’re ALL THE COLOURS OF NANCY”) and note that although she had the best voice, she wasn’t right for Nancy. And we were right. But she is perfect for Elphaba. Her real accent is Irish and this makes her stage English accent a bit more husky and quirky, fitting for Elphaba. Her voice is perfect and so powerful but not overwhelming, full of emotion and character. Yay for Rachel. She’s finishing soon and I may have to go and see her again before she goes. As my friend Charles is always lamenting, that’s the rubbish thing about theatre – you can see the most amazing performances on earth, but hardly ever get to see them again as they’re not recorded (or if they are, you can’t usually get your own copy). Sad times.

Anyway. Go. Enjoy. Be Wicked.

Brixpig x

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

When: Friday 24th August

Where: ThreeSixty Theatre, Kensington Gardens

Why: NARNIA

You may know that I wrote my undergraduate dissertation on C. S. Lewis and that my dearest wish as a child was to be able to bury my face in Aslan’s mane like Susan and Lucy do in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. There was no way I could not go and see this play, especially because we got half price tickets on lastminute.com so it was super bargainous. I went with my mum when she was down for the bank hol (this is the first in a three-play installment from that weekend – we went on a bit of a theatre spree) and we had a brilliant time. The theatre’s inside a big round marquee with tiered seats, which is set up with picnic benches and Narnia lamposts all around it, in the shadow of Kensington Palace (where Princess Di lived for a bit, which did set my mum off on a slightly melancholy reminisce about her tragic life... bit of a downer). It’s a beautiful location though and I was so impressed with the theatre itself, even if the play had been crap I would have enjoyed my surroundings just as much.

The magic of the ThreeSixty Theatre is that the production is played in the round, which I always like, and images are projected on the inside of the tent above you, all the way round (360 degrees, in fact). This added so much atmosphere during the play – we really felt like we were in the Beavers’ dam or Mr Tumnus’s cave thanks to the graphics. They weren’t the most technically brilliant images, and were a bit basic, but were effective nonetheless and I suppose it must be fairly challenging to project all the way round an enormous marquee.

The play begins with the game of hide and seek that ends up with Lucy in the famous wardrobe, and involves the audience who have to count up to 10 as the wardrobe rises up around Lucy and transports her to Narnia. The four Pevensie children are played by baby-faced adults which was probs a good move, and they all gave solid performances. The script was good and lots of dialogue was close to the book which was pleasing and kept a simplicity and truthfulness to the story which was needed.

Brian Protheroe as the Professor, whose face you will definitely know even if the name isn’t familiar (he was Mr Bell in North and South which I think is where I knew him from), was pleasingly wise and insightful, and looked cracking in his dressing gown. The White Witch was played by Sally Dexter, who was ok at being menacing on occasion, but for the most part I found her to be just a bit camp (her mad red lipstick didn’t do much in her favour either). But then I suppose it’s impossible to beat Tilda Swinton in the film version, who was perfect. I appreciate I’m coming across as an enormous geek here.

Big shout out to the costume department whose animal creations were works of genius. The director, Rupert Goold, said that he wanted the production to have a rougher and more elemental feel and this was definitely reflected in the sort of Inuit-y outfits of the Beavers in particular. But all the creatures were great – the wolves with their weird crutch-like forearms allowing them to crawl around, and the tree spirits who slunk around on stilts and posed themselves around the edge of the stage. During the fight scene the flying creatures were also very impressive, swirling themselves around on ribbons from the ceiling. The staging was very creative actually, with an excellent use of trapdoors and the spinning stage.

One slightly low point were the songs, I can’t lie to you. It wasn’t exactly a musical but every now and then they did all burst into song. They weren’t too bad but there were no memorable tunes and none of it really captured me, and some of it was just plain awkward – I think the songs were probably what let the production down as a whole, and if they’d been of a higher standard it could have took the show to a whole new level of amazingness.

But the real star was Aslan who was just freaking amazing. He was a War Horse style puppet, propelled about by three people and voiced by the Poirot legend that is David Suchet (BRILLIANT Aslan voice. Even better than Liam Neeson – again, see film version). His movements were so subtle and perfectly executed (ooh, maybe wrong choice of word there given what happens to him later...), down to the swinging of his tail to the nodding of his head. He was even BREATHING. I was apprehensive about the death scene and not sure how it was physically going to work, espesh on a round stage where trickery can get a bit tricky. But they totally pulled it off, using a stone table with hollow legs that the actors disappeared into, only to run on again literally seconds later in a new Aslan costume, all resurrected and roaring splendidly. (I mean, I’m imagining that’s how they did it – it’s possible that it was actual deep magic going on in front of me. Who can say.) I was very impressed with him and although he didn’t look very cuddly, the way he moved was endearing and he had by far the most stage presence of any of the cast (as it should be).

It was such a unique theatre experience and really well put together, and proved extremely popular with the audience, who were made up of just as many grown-ups as children. I’m just gonna go there and say it was MAGICAL.

Brixpig x